The Pavilion Story
by AyakaShima
Summary: This story startes the night after the gorilla city episode, the night Julian asked Caitlin out. (Totally Snowbert story)
1. The Pavilion Story

**I'm very happy to wrote this story because I am pretty much into this Pair^^  
But this is also my first fanfiction on this page. Plus the first one I publish in English (It's not my native langugage, so). I did my best and I hope it doesn't make it more difficult to read.  
I really hope you are enyoing. **

**++ I really liked this scene, so I needed to write it down.**

Julian thought about this for a longer time, so he was nervous. Though, he hadn't had a girl to be interested in for a longer time now.

There she was. The girl who scared him to death the other day, the girl who hurt him, made him hate metahumans even more. But still he couldn't help himself, finding himself in having an interest in this very strong and warmhearted woman.

He decided to move forward, didn't be afraid of anything especially when it comes to Alchemy and Savitar.

So in his mood of bravery he ran after this girl, followed her a few streets down and founded her standing under this pavilion which was flood in light.

"Caitlin." he said to get her attention. As she heard her name she turned. Julian was still wearing his "Indiana Jones" clothes he wore when they went to Earth 2. "Wait." As good as he could he tried to look as calm as possible. Then the truth was, inside of him he was afraid, nervous and other feelings overwhelmed him he couldn't even describe.

One step to another he came near her until he stand right in front of her. Every further step he did he thought about what would be the best to say. He thought about what he did, a thousand times when he sat in the ape's prison. That he came with them to the other earth and which feelings for her occurred in him.

But now he stood right in front of her.

"Listen, if I overstepped, then I apologize." He felt how he wanted more. He wanted to be more for this woman. Caitlin's countenance showed him, that he didn't need to apologize for what he did. But he still felt better doing so.

"Just, after drinks the other night.." but he didn't had the opportunity to finish his sentence. Caitlin looked him deep into his eyes. "You were willing to risk your life for me?" she asked him uncomprehendingly as if she wouldn't understand. He sighed. Now he would need to explain her his feelings. Then to be honest he liked that woman. He found something in Caitlin he couldn't explain yet.

Julian didn't know, where to start. "I been doing a lot of silly things recently. I thought any more, more or less wouldn't do any harm." That was the reason he came to that strange mission on the first place. When he heard from Barry that Caitlin would go with him to Earth 2 he felt some jealousy growing in his stomach and when Barry also asked him to cover for him, he didn't know what to do in the beginning. But he thought about the opportunity Barry gave him, even if Barry didn't know it. So Julian decided besides having some sightseeing on another earth, also to be with her and protect her, so he would be able to sleep.

"I like you, Julian. I do." Caitlin replied. "And I like that you like me." He felt flattered that she felt this way. But he got also afraid that she would push him away. "But I'm also afraid of my powers. And not what they could do to me, but what they could do to anyone who gets close to me." He totally understood that because he also feared her powers firstly, though he would dare any danger, to be able to be with her.

"Caitlin, I'm not afraid." "You should be. Fear me, Julian. It's not a threat, just good advice." In her voice and eyes he could snap a slightly arise of sadness. Scared of her own abilities he couldn't let her end becoming Killer Frost. "Okay, fine. I'll fear you." Shortly he paused, felt a lump in his throat. He didn't want it to be this way, the same said her face. Sadness seemed to overwhelm her the next moment. So he came up with an idea.

"You know what really helps me when I'm scared?" he asked her. "What?"

"Just a good fillet steak." he tried to better her mood, because he couldn't see her sad. The result of it was that she started to smile. "A bit of Bearnaise on the side, Mashed Potatoes, does the trick every time." A long time he hadn't seen her smiling like this, if he ever had.

Caitlin wondered if it did. "I promise." a small smirk appeared on his lips.

"I think we should find a local steakhouse, and be terrified, together." After he found the strength to follow her he also finally found the guts to ask her out. Well, not in the way he wanted but anyway. And she seemed to like his idea. "Sure. Together it is." He did it. Finally at the end of an adventurous day he even found a way to ask the girl he wanted to ask for a longer time, if she goes out with him. Him, Julian! Who lost his joy in life a longer time ago, who became Alchemy, Savitar's minion and in their very first meeting a prisoner of Caitlin. But in the end he got the girl, at least for today.


	2. Caitlins Betrayal

Caitlin thought about this the whole day. She knew, she had done something very bad. She kept a part of the Stone and she felt bad about this. The young woman tried not to think about it, just found excuses that told her, that she did the right thing. But she couldn't even convince herself that she was right.  
Covered in her thoughts she didn't realise Julian entered the room and sat himself next to her. "You okay?" she heard his voice, his warm British voice, worrying about her. Impatient with herself she looked at her hands, felt guilty. She knew what she did and she couldn't even look at his face. "I'm worried." she replied, still not with him, punishing herself in her head. "Yeah, I understand. I keep back to the thought that.." it seemed him challenging to talk about it, because he paused but shortly after that he kept talking. "..I could be the cause of all this."

\- No you are not! - Her thoughts run. - Its all my fault. I'm the reason Wally stucks in the eternity in whatever that place is. Caitlin really was in a bad mood, tried as hard as she could to cover it. "What do you mean?" she said instead of what she had in her mind. Instead of what she should have said. But she felt so god damn guilty and was afraid he would abandon her after what she did.

Julian talked about Savitar's prophecy.

"One will betray you." that's what Savitar said.

"You may well have invited Judas into the group, Caitlin." Julian talked about him, he was afraid that he was the betrayer. But Caitlin knew it better and he will hate her for what she did. She decided to tell him, she couldn't hide this any longer, especially when it came to him. Fear filled her whole body, she was afraid about to loose him. "It's not you." she said after a while, well aware of the fact that it would have consequences. "It's impossible to tell. Savitar could be controlling me, and none of us would know about it."

Caitlin felt how it got more difficult and worse. Never before she felt such remorse.

"None of us, not even me."

She regretted to say this, but she had to. "But this time, we know who it is." Julian just looked at her and he didn't seemed to have a clue whats going on. "How?"

Barely able to think straight she stood up, went to the glass case where she kept science stuff, pulled it open and took something tiny. It was a small casket and in it layed a small piece of the philosophers stone. Caitlin put it out of the case and showed it Julian. "Because I'm the one who betrayed everyone."

Julian lost every colour. This couldn't be the truth. Why did she do that, he asked himself. He was shocked, wasn't able to think clear. "Julian.." she began but he stopped her. "See Caitlin, I don't want to talk about this now. Just...Go!" he said angrily. Sadly Caitlin left the office.

After Barry persuaded Julian to walk into that mind control thingy again, so that they would be able to track down Savitar, Julian walked angrily out of the room, preparing himself to be a transmitter again. While he left, he was able to hear that H.R also was not amused about this.

But at this moment he wasn't really interested in thinking about this or the session that would happen in some minutes. With his thoughts he was still busy thinking about Caitlin and how she could do this to him. She knew that that stone made him literally speaking to Dr Alchemy and he was also afraid what could happen to him if he gets in contact with the stone again. Julian judged her for keeping a part of it for her own egoistic reasons. He was so angry with her.

His angrily behaviour made him sort of deaf because he wasn't able to hear the heels of that woman walking behind him.  
"Julian please. I should have told you." she said desperate. -Yes! You should have. You should have told me, that you kept a piece of that bloody stone! - He thought.

"I can't believe that you would keep part of that Stone. Do you not remember what Savitar had me do with that?" he yelled in his strong British accent. His mind was blended with anger, so he was not seeing that Caitlin was really sorry and felt terribly bad. "Yes I do." Her face showed a full amount of sadness and despair but he didn't saw it. He only thought about his own fears. "But you're not concerned, are you?" he asked. "You just want your own personal meta-human specialist to try to find you a cure." Bulls Eye! That hurts him to say, but her much more to hear it because she realised that he was partly right. It was true that she first had the intention to invite him, so he would be able to find her a cure because he had connections to Savitar. Bur then she found out about his character and what he really is for a person. She felt comfortable in his company and that's the real reason she want him to be around her.

If she had the opportunity to change what she did, she would have. But she can't! Caitlin regretted that she haven't told him, wasn't honest with Julian. Sadness came up in her. She knew, he wouldn't listen to what she would say. However she tried. "Julian, I don't want these powers. I can't spend the rest of my life wondering if or when I'm gonna lose this battle and become Killer Frost."

Yeah he totally understood that, heard what she said but didn't want to listen to her. She was egoistic and he wasn't accepting that. Sure, he would think about the situation and maybe or probably forgiver her but not now. Then in the moment he was hurt and he couldn't stand that.

So he turned his back on her and went into the elevator, judging himself that he trusted her.

"I thought you more than anyone would understand that." Yes, yes he understood how she felt. The reason was that he felt the same as her but he won't admit it. Not now.  
"You know...you know what I understand? I understand the real reason that you invited me on this team." And at the moment he really believed, that this was the only reason. There was nothing else, no other reason for her to invite him. She used him. That was at least what he told himself.

\- "That's not the only reason." Caitlin was desperate, she knew that she lost him for now, asked herself if he would ever forgive her for what she did.

"Yeah, I wish I could believe that."

Angrily Julian left S.T.A.R Labs and arrived home exhausted. Not only because of his Caitlin dilemma but also because of their session. Every time, he used to be a transmitter to Savitar Julian felt drained after it. He wasn't able to think clear and took a shower. After he got rid of his clothes, he went into the shower, felt the warm water falling down on his body. It felt good. All his worries washed away. He also couldn't find sleep the night always thinking about Caitlin, thinking about what she said. Thinking about, if he wasn't to harsh to her. In the end the young man didn't came to a conclusion but finally found some sleep.


	3. Regrets And Honesty

She wasn't at STAR Labs for the next few days because she couldn't sustain Julian around her. But if she was honest, she was avoiding him because she felt sorry. So sorry for betraying him and being egoistic.

The truth was that she was admittedly afraid of getting out of control but she was much more afraid of loosing him after she let him into her heart. After she felt sympathy or even more than this for the meta-human specialist.

The meta-human wasn't even eating very much. A lot missed calls from Cisco were on her phone, she didn't pick up because she wasn't in the mood to talk to him or anyone.

When suddenly the door bell ran. A load sigh went down her lung but at the end she stood up and went to the door. Curious who that was she looked into her spy and saw a worried Cisco standing on the other end. Reluctant she opened the door and Cisco entered immediately.

"What were you thinking?" he asked angrily. Caitlin was confused and shocked. It was a longer time ago he last spoke to her like this.

"Well...What exactly are you thinking? Just come here and intrude." Cisco just crossed his arms. He really was angry. "You didn't pick up, didn't showed up at STAR Labs for the last few days." As if it would be obvious, he expected an answer from her.

"I don't want to talk about it. Please go Cisco. I'm fine."

Wrath overwhelmed the young man. Was she really serious? "No! I Won't go. Forget that. I won't go until you told me, what's your problem."

Caitlin sighs and sat on her couch, showing him to take place next to her. He wouldn't left her alone until she told him. She just knew him too well, to know that she won't get rid of him. So she decided to tell him.

"Julian and I had a confrontation." she begun. - "Yeah, I know. He told us after you didn't showed up for the second day." Cisco still was curious.

"He made clear that he wouldn't forgive me for what I did. It made me sick." The whole time she stared on the floor, playing with her necklace, which was quite pretty.

She remembered when Julian gave it to her. The two most important people to her mad it for her. It meant a lot to her and she would never ever take it off again. And not only because it stifle her powers. She also liked the bright light and had the form of a pretty snowflake.

"You really have feelings for him, have you?" Cisco asked insightfully. She just nodded, still staring at the same place. He could feel her pain and her sadness. Carefully he placed a hand on hers. "Why haven't you told him?"

"Because I was afraid. And I still am." Cisco's warm brown eyes looked into hers, as she finally looked up and faced him. "Cisco, I'm afraid to hurt him, not his feelings though, but himself. I'm afraid I could loose control of my powers. Sadly she looked on the floor, her eyes on the floor.

"I will always be there for you! You know that Cate, right?" Again she nodded still in her own world. Although she was very happy that he was on her side and that he ever was.

"Don't stop fighting. But also start trusting in your friends. Everyone understood what or why you did took the stone. I just don't understand why you haven't told anyone."

"It's complicated." Cisco shaked his head. "No it's not and you know that."

The man was calm and understood her totally. He didn't want everyone to know about his powers because he also was afraid. But he was able to handle his powers and he believed that Caitlin could too. She just stood herself in her way because of her fear. He believed that she just needed to trust them and be honest. It was important that everyone in their team was fully truthful. Nobody was allowed to make mistakes because of not being focused. Caitlin wasn't focused at all. Since she first found out about her powers she changed, let fear overwhelming her and she never fully healed of that. Cisco didn't want this life for her. He also saw, that she had a big impact on Julian who really was difficult to handle in the beginning. Both of them found themselves and they learned to trust each other. That made Cisco happy and he also wanted this for her. This was another reason for him to come here. He wanted to make both talk to each other and get rid of this insane battle they faced.

"Talk to him." Caitlin freezed for a moment, realized what he just said. "I can't."  
"I don't understand. Of course you can. And you must, for your both sake. He is important to you and so are you to him." He was right and she knew. She needed to take responsibility for what she did, she just didn't know how. The easiest would be to visit him and try to talk to him.

"You are right, Cisco." A small smile hushed over his face. "So you're going? Tell him what you feel?" Silently she nodded again. "Thank you. I needed your visit." She smirked. Before he went home they hugged each other. "Don't tell him, that I told you but he really likes you. And it's driving him crazy that you are not there. Haven't seen him like this before. Good night, Caitlin." he said was on the footstep to leave.

"Good night." Silent she closed the door and took a deep breath. She felt better and was sort of happy Cisco stepping by.


	4. Telling the Truth

Caitlin stood nervously in front of the outdoor to his apartment, thought about to just leave again. The last twenty minutes, she needed to get here from her flat, she had a load of things in her mind, things she wanted to say, things she decided she shouldn't say. This time period felt like an eternity but now she was here, there was no going back.  
Carefully she looked at the door bell nameplates to find out where she had to ring. After a short time she found his name plate, saying "Julian Albert" in one of the higher floors. Caitlin hesitated, her hands where trembling slightly. Afraid he would refuse talk to her, she just stood right in front of the blue door, feeling really awkwardly and after she took a deep breath she pushed the door bell.

Another two very long minutes passed, as finally the door made a terribly noise, signing her to pull open it. Carefully she walked into the elevator at the end of the huge lobby. It was five floors above her, she pushed the button and the elevator went up. What was, when he hated her forever? What might happen if he pushed her away after what she did. A lot of fears were overwhelming her. Caitlin's breath went harder, she tried to focus on the positive things but she couldn't find any positive thought.

While she was in her thoughts she didn't recognised that the door of the lift swung open when it reached the right floor. Slowly and flooded with anxiousness she left the elevator and took one step after another. Her skin was very cold, though she could feel her sweaty hands. Nervousness grew in her every second now and she thought to left again. But she told herself that she need to find the strength to get to the guy she felt so much for and talk to him. Anxiously she looked at every door bell on the corridor to find out where Julian lives. Her heels echoed on the floor and she hoped she wasn't makeing to much noise. At the end of the light fluted floor she found finally what she searched for. Before she eventually pulled the door bell next to his door she took a deep breath, forced all the bravery she could find. A loud noise from the other side of the door and the noise of slow footsteps told her that the door would open in a few moments.

The pale door shut open and a face appeared in front of her.

"Caitlin?" the voice said surprised. "What are you doing here?" His eyes avoiding hers and he wasn't that happy to see her it seemed.

"I- I wanted to talk to you." She said carefully, searching for his eyes. But he still stared right next to her on the wall. "Can I come in?" She asked still cautiously. "Caitlin, I am not really in the mood to talk to you." Julian answered in a cold voice. Colder than he wanted to sound. But she needed to understand, that he wouldn't forgive her only because she appeared on his doorstep. A sad expression emerged on her face. She knew this was a very big mistake. "I'll go then." The woman said sadly and was about to go.

Julian sighed loudly as she turned. Caitlin was able to only walk a few steps forward because he grabbed her arm. "Wait." he said. She could feel his warm soft hand on her cold arm. A shock run through her whole body then she turned around again and was caught by his warm blue eyes which met hers this time. "Come." he said and pulled her into his flat, closed the door behind her and told her to sit down. Caitlin never was in his flat before. It was much bigger than she thought even though she knew that his family had a sophisticated standard. So it was obvious that their son had something better than any other person she knew. But she also knew that he didn't care of other people standards and Julian was no snob. He was down to earth and she really appreciated it.

His apartment was pretty clean and well structured. He guided her into his living room and showed her to take a seat on his beige- coloured sofa, which stand on the left side in front of the huge window front. His flat was full of white and beige things, though she could also find some gold – coloured ornaments.

"Would you like to drink something?" Julian asked kindly. Caitlin just nodded and after a short amount of time he came back with two glasses filled with water. "Thank you." As he handed one of the glasses over to her. "So?" the meta-human specialist was curious about what she had to tell him and sat himself next to her. It took her a few minutes to sort her thoughts and to find the right words. She almost emptied the whole glass before she began to speak.

"I never meant to hurt you." She said quietly. It was very hard to hold his glimpse, to look right into his eyes while she was talking. But she wanted him to see what her eyes would tell him. Julian's eyes stared just right into hers and he wasn't about to take his sight down.

"I told you that I am afraid of my powers. And I am so sorry that I didn't told you about the stone. I just.. I was afraid." Slowly some tears accumulated in her warm brown eyes. "I was so afraid of becoming Killer Frost that I didn't thought of any other consequences. I just wanted to get rid of her so much - " shortly she stopped, her eyes still focusing on his but it became more and more difficult to hold still, it was so much easier to look away. She just told herself to keep it, so he could see that she meant what she was saying.

"It's true that I forgot about your fear to become Alchemy again because I was so focused on myself. And I am so sorry about that, too. I was so careless and I regret everything. But the truth is, Julian -" carefully and nervously she grabbed his hand. "Since we fought something is missing inside me. I am afraid that we'll never talk to each other again, I am much more afraid of what will happen to me if you won't forgive me then becoming Killer Frost." now she couldn't hold the focus anymore and her sight headed to the floor. A single tear rolled down her face.

 **I am so sorry that it took so long for the next chapter but I was occupied during Eastern. It's also a still new experience to write in English that I'll always need my time. I hope though you are enjoining my story. If you have some suggestions or wishes where this story will go, tell me. I'll give my best to do well. And if you have things I could do better, tell me too.**

 **Thanks for reading.**


	5. Earning Trust

Julian felt that she was honest, he felt also that he was sorry, too. Another thought went down his mind. Was he able to forgive her yet? Her words were unambiguously and her eyes told the truth. The light brown eyes of hers focused his all the time while she spoke and when she took his hand he could feel her trembling. Never before he saw her like this. Though he was still hurt, but could he see her sad like this? He really wanted to see and work with her again. Since they had their argument she didn't went to work anymore, was avoiding him because she felt too guilty and couldn't stand to look him into the eyes. Until now! Caitlin ignored her fear and went to him to tell him she was sorry. Again and again he asked himself if it was enough. Another argument popped up into his mind. If she hadn't keep the part of the stone, Savitar would have escaped much earlier.

So was it maybe better that she kept it? He wasn't sure what to think. Though he would definitely need time to earn her trust again. Julian just knew, he couldn't let her be that sad any longer. He decided to give the thing a try.

"Caitlin." he said calmly, taking her hand, which she put onto his before. "I know you were scared and I understand that you had to do it." Slowly she raised her head again, facing his eyes once more. "I hate, that you didn't tell me in the first place and I needed to find it out the way it happened. But I'll forgive you." A short smile hushed over hear still sad face. "Thank you Julian." she said quietly. "But. -" he started again and suddenly the sadness overcame her again. "I'll need time to find full trust to you again." She understood, she didn't know if she would have trusted him again, if it was the other way round. A smile settled on his face. "Now." he began. "I would like to take away your sad thoughts. You know, I can't see you this sorrowful."  
Deep down he forgave her days ago and didn't realised it, was to proud to see it. Just the point about the trust was surely true. It was difficult for him to trust her so soon. Starting to get things back to normal was a good beginning though. Motivated he got up, still holding her hand and showed her to follow him.

They left his apartment, got into the lift and went downstairs. "Where are we going?" Caitlin asked him curiously after a while. "You'll see." he said gentle, smiling. After another while they turned into one of the near parks and they found themselves on a park bench. The night sky was clear and full of bright shining stars.

"You know, I wanted to show you before..."

"It's beautiful. Thank you so much Julian, for trying to get back to normal." His face just went red. They were still holding hands and looked into the sky. It was great, for both, to had the present of the other one back. They were just to important to each other but none of them admitted it. A longer while both sat just next the other, until Caitlin leaned her head onto his shoulder, smelling his flavour, looking now at his neck. She recognised his concisely looking birthmarks on his neck. Julian had a really good and soft skin. His warm arm lay now around her, holding her hand. It was so incredibly good to be near to him, not being in fight any more.

"We'll find you a cure. I promise." Julian said after a while. Caitlin felt thankful, also because he was worried about her too. Lazily she became tired but the moment was none to kill it with falling asleep.

He on the other hand was still fully awake, just about to realise what had happen. They found peace with each other and now the woman he felt for lay in his arms. It was a marvellous moment, the best he had for a long time. When he closed his eyes he could feel her breathing slowly and calm. Also her perfume smelled incredible good.

Slowly she closed her eyes. Tiredness was overwhelming her and to his slowly breath she felt asleep, her head still resting on his shoulder. When it was getting too cold, even for Julian and he realised that she was sleeping, he decided to take her back before she'll would become ill. He carried her the way out of the park and to the other end of the street where his department was. He went with her the whole way into his flat and lay her carefully down into his bed. He was polite enough to not get her out of her clothes, even though it was quite uncomfortable to sleep in clothes. When he put a blanket over her she woke up again for a few minutes. He was about to go into his living room to sleep there but she caught his arm before he could left. "Don't go." she said quietly. "I don't want to be alone." Quietly Julian nodded and took the place next to her in his bed. "Thank you Julian." Caitlin whispered before she fell back to sleep. A while he kept looking at her beautiful face and full red lips, before he killed the light and decided to sleep, too.


	6. Everything's Perfect

The next day Caitlin awoke early in the morning. The sun was slowly rising, shining through the huge window front of Julian's bedroom. After a moment of not knowing where she was, she recognised it as Julian's apartment and more importantly she found herself in his bed! Carefully she turned her head around and saw him silently sleeping next to her. He lay on his side, faced her, his arms lay quite near were she was laying the moment before she woke up. Silently she stood up, for a moment thinking about to rest in his very comfortable bed until he woke up. But she decided not to do that, because she thought it would end in a very awkward moment. The door to the living room made a soft noise as she open it carefully just a bit, to shooed through it. She decided to use his bathroom before she wanted to leave quick and go back to work. Cisco needed to hear the news and the team probably needed her.

When she came out of the bathroom a few moments later, she found an awoke but still sleepy Julian leaning on the door frame with a confused expression. "Leaving?" he asked her sleepy.

Suddenly a flash run through her body, feeling a bit guilty to leave that easily. "I need to." She said quickly. Caitlin was about to leave, but he stood in her way. "Why don't you stay for breakfast?" he asked her. "I do great British breakfast. You'll love it." A bright grin appeared on his face and Caitlin really thought about to stay. "Fine."

While she waited she looked through some of his magazines which lay down on the table. Some of these were about physics and police work. In others she could read some psychology themes in which she was really interested. Julian stood in his kitchen and tried to make the best breakfast he had ever made. When he finished and they sat on his kitchen table Caitlin could find a huge amount of things on it. She started with some toast and fresh made omelet. It really was the best she ever ate before in her life. To wake up, Julian brew a pot of black tea and hand her a cup of hot tea over. While she went on with some backed beans and well roasted bacon she asked herself if she ever had such a great breakfast. "I always thought Britons were not able to cook." she joked and a laugh came out of his mouth. "Well I think that's just a cliché." he smirked. "It's god damn good." she said, to underline his argument.

After they cleaned up, when they finished eating, they went on their way to S.T.A.R. Labs. When they arrived she went full nervous again. A full week passed since she was at work the last time. Caitlin was afraid that the others were just as angry as Julian was. When they reached the entrance she abruptly stopped, grabbed Julian's coat and he stopped, too. Confused he turned around, had a questioning look on his face. "What's the matter?" Insecure she searched for his look. "I- What is, when they are angry with me because I wasn't here the last days?"

His look was still confused, then he sighed. "Look, they aren't. They worry what is with you. So, let's get upstairs. C'mon." With the last word he pushed her through the entrance door and they went upstairs.

"See who had returned!" Cisco was excited to see his best friend again and hugged her warmly. "Took enough time, don't you think?" He said, just half-earnest. "Yeah." she answered.

Barry and H.R. who were the only ones here so far looked at her. Luckily for her, they were very happy to see her. "We really thought, we would never see you again. Scared us to death." H.R. said in his usual tone. "Missed you too, H.R." she said when he came to give her a friendly hug. Barry just stayed there, looked at her. He really seem to have a serious expression in his face. But after she shortly became afraid, she hurt him, he began to smile. "Nice to have you back, Cate." Now he also came to hug her.

Later the day, when Caitlin followed Cisco in his lab and watched him working on something, he turned all at once to face her. "So, you managed to talk?" "Yeah." It was so obvious that he would ask her out about what happened and how she managed to find some bravery to talk to Julian. She told him how she drowned herself in self-pity a while longer, after he left, and then came to her mind again. She also told him that she was afraid as fuck and that he firstly refused to talk to her. She told him that they decided in the end to return to normal again and that he forgave her, but needed to find trust again. And in the end Caitlin told him, that they went in the park and that she woke up in his apartment this morning.  
Cisco listened curious and was stunned the way both handled it. This really was a satisfying outcome, he was very proud of his best friend. "So?" he asked curiously. "You two have now something going on?" The smile on his face wasn't wider ever before. "Oh I knew, you would ask that." She sighed. "But to answer your question. No, we're not!" Cisco just shrug his shoulders. He really hoped Julian and Caitlin would admit, they're had a feeling for each other. A blind man could see that, he was sure of it. After Caitlin lost Ronny and Jay, who turned out to be the evil Zoom, he was sure that Julian would be a god shot for her. They liked each other and she made him a better person the last months. When they started to work with Julian, Cisco didn't like that guy much. He liked what Caitlin did to him, he changed to the better. And he really cared about her, Cisco saw that. Julian wasn't the only one changing, though, he seemed to have some influence on Caitlin, too. She became stronger and Cisco admitted that Julian made her believe more in herself. So, it was only a matter of time for them to find that out, too.

It was a very silent day, no meta-human who distracted them, no further information of Savitar or anything that had to do with this. So H.R. thought, it would be a great idea for Team Flash to have an evening off and take a relaxing evening. Cisco argued, it would be great to watch a good classic film, like Star Wars or Indiana Jones but nobody except H.R. was excited about his idea. "Oh, come on guys. I haven't seen your Earth's version of these movies, yet." he yelled, was disappointed about the idea, which made it through. Julian suggested to get into a local bar and have nice conversations. "Fine." said H.R., still not agreed to this idea but he didn't want to be left alone, so he came, too.


	7. Happen What Needed To Happen

Everyone facing the urgent agenda of saving Iris and catching Abra Kadabra, the atmosphere was filled with total worry. Everyone seemed to be preoccupied with thinking about this, so Team Flash was facing dark days.

When they finally caught the bad guy, Joe messed everything up. He opened his cage and when Gypsy appeared, he got away. Abra Kadabra waited for this for a long time. When he found the last part of what he needed, the power source, he would be able to get back into his time. He put out a detecting device and looked after the source, after he just managed to flew from Gypsy. When he headed to the Cortex his device led him right to the hidden time room and he found it, finally. Glad, he took it and was on his way to go.  
Suddenly Joe appeared behind him, when he wanted to get into the lift, a shot from the detective's gun went right trough him, it doesn't even hurt him. With a grin he turned around, faced his attacker,. "We had a deal." Joe reminded him angry. "Your freedom for Savitar's identity." he really thought, after Gypsy interrupted and him shooting at Kadabra, that he still was about to tell him what he wanted to urgently to know. Not that he ever wanted to. It was so much fun, to play with desperate people. "I've altered the terms of our agreement." Abra said coldly. "It appears that you have as well."  
In the next moment he blew off the place with a small sort of bomb, to interfere their next moves. "Move." yelled detective West but it was too late. The hall before the elevator ended in a mess and a blast wave threw Joe, and Caitlin and Julian, who just ran into the situation, trough the air. All three of them crushed against walls. Abra Kadabra vanished.

When Julian hit the floor, he first asked himself if Caitlin was okay before he worried about his own health. Fast he run to her, several pieces lay around her and he was afraid something hit her. "Caitlin! Caitlin, are you all right?" he asked fearful."Yeah" she said exerted. He reached out for her and she took the hand he offered her. Carefully he helped her to stand and she felt pain running through her body, especially on her right side. Then he saw a piece iron stuck in her side, he panicked. The only thing he knew was that he needed to do something.

"We need to pull that out, to see it that was the only thing that hit me." Caitlin told Julian. But he just nodded, his eyes filled with fear. "When I count to three. One – Two – " As carefully as he could, he dragged it, she groaned, tears filled her eyes because it hurt.

Barry and Wally came the next moment and saw what happened. "We need to take her out of here." Julian screamed desperately. They nodded and carefully walked into their surgery room, helped her to walk the short way. "What happened?" Cisco met them before they entered, heard a noise and asked himself what was going on. Julian told him, while they entered the surgery room. Carefully she lay on the bed. Julian was overextended, his brain worked just out of affect. He just knew that they needed to get the remainig parts out of her body. They all stood around Caitlin and Julian tried his best. "The, um, the...hand me the X-ray machine, grab it for us, would you, please?" he said very unsecure and irritated.  
Barry handed it over. "Okay good. Remove it." said Julian, watched afterwards on the screen, while Cisco removed the part of her blouse, where the iron bar hit her. The X-ray machine told him if and where to find the splintered particles of whatever hit her. "How bad is it?" asked Caitlin, who suffered from pain.  
Julian saw that the iron bar hurt more than he thought. "Uh, it's bad." Julian had no real idea if it wasn't better to bring her to a hospital, but he knew they would find out, that she was a meta. 'Concentrate' he thought and tried to get rid of his thought. "It's bad, there's quite a dew pieces shrapnel inside you, and they look deep enough to pierce your kidney if they're not removed immediately." When he finished, he put the X-ray machine on the table near by. Steadily he became more and more afraid that something really bad would happen. And Caitlin didn't seem like she could hold the pain much longer.

Now Iris just spoke out, what Julian thought before. "Guys, we have to get her to a hospital." She said, also worried. "We cant, they're gonna ID her as a meta."Cisco replied, still pressed his hands on her wound, to made it less bleeding.

"And not just any meta." Wally said. "Yeah, one that we have a file on for attacking CCPD." Joe added. "Then what are we going to do? None of us are doctors and she can't operate on herself." Julian heard Iris saying desperately.  
The whole gang stood beside Caitlin, all caring and worrying about what would happen to her. Julian wished they would all shut up, because he really tried to concentrate, to find an answer to their problem, to Caitlin's problem. The Briton really wanted to help her, but he didn't know, how exactly he could help her. And while all of them were arguing about what was the best, he knew that they were running out of time. The expression on her face told him the same, she looked racked with pain. While Caitlin switched to look to Cisco and to Julian every know and than, Barry worked something out. "We do have another option." he said calmly, he seemed to be the only calm person in the room at that moment. They all looked at him. "What is it?"

Cisco totally understood what Barry was about to say, but he also knew that Caitlin wouldn't accept this. "When Caitlin goes meta, her metabolic rate offsets cold tissue destruction." While he spoke horror lay opon her face. "No, we're not gonna take off my necklace." she said in the strongest tone, she could offer. More panic run through her body, when she heard him saying this. "I don't need a hospital! All I need is a mirror and a steady set of hands." Suddenly her eyes swapped to Julian. "You were a field medic in the Royal Army, right?"

"What? No, I-II've never operated on anyone before."

A shock hit him. Was she insane? Did she really lay her live in his hands? Once more Julian panicked, his heart throbbed faster than ever.

"That's okay, I'll walk you through it." she said fast.

"Caitlin, you're talking about staying awake during your own surgery." Julian said shocked.

"I'm putting my life in your hands. I trust you, Julian." Her eyes fixated his, she was sure about what she was saying and she knew, he was able to do what she asked him for. Julian on the other hand was still totally insecure about this and was afraid, he could mess everything up. He was clearly in the picture that she put her life in his hands. That was an action of total trust. She showed him, that she trusted him so much and in this moment he totally forgot that he wasn't trusting her completely. In this moment, this short moment, he looked up on her, to do what she was about to do.

The next moment Julian's mind came back to the present, he shortly pressed his hands on hers, afterwards he quickly left the room and overlay himself with some doctor tunic and don surgical gloves. After a short amount of time he came back in and when Caitlin's eyes met his again, he smiked lightly. "Ready?" she asked him, when he stood on her side."Ready as I'll ever be." He tried to calm down and to get his fingers as calm as possible, too. It was so quiet in the room, he could hear his breath and his heart jumping against his chest.

"Okay, Let's start with the shrapnel on the surface." Caitlin coordinated him and Iris brought him his tool, which was a sort of surgical forceps. As composed as possible he grabbed it and crouched down to see better. "Just let me know, if I do any..thing wrong, okay?" Carefully he came near her skin and looked for the shrapnel. He found something black at the front of the skin and tried to pull it out. He barely heard Caitlin groans, because he concentrated so much, to hurt her not to much. Slowly he pulled it out. He was relieved when he dropped the piece to the bowl.

"Okay, that's the first it. Well done." he said more to himself than t anyone else.

After some complications every bit of it were gone and they all were very relieved. After Julian stitched her up, they advised her to rest for a couple of hours.


	8. The Dramatic Outcome

**I am soo sorry to use the conversation of the 18. episode but it's quite important on what I want to do with the story, and I'm also sorry for the length of the chapter, because it's no new information about my story. I hope it's quite alright and you are still enjoying it. Tell me if you have wishes of were the story should go. Enjoy reading.**

After some hours Caitlin came back to conscious. When she did, she recognised a smell she knew quite well. It was Julian, she was sure. The next moment she opened her eyes and after a few seconds her eyes saw him clearly sitting next to her bed, holding her hand. The next moment she felt his warm hand laying on her cold one and a smile appeared on his mouth. "Hey. I'm still here." she whispered to him, she was relieved to still be alive because he did a pretty good job. "Yeah." came out of his mouth, he felt the same as her. Julian was so happy he managed it well and that he hadn't lost her. He couldn't loose her. "Wasn't gonna let you go that easy."  
The next moment a worried expression appeared on her face. She worried about Kadabra but Julian told her that he was gone, they managed to catch him. "Sorry. My palm's are sweaty." she whispered. Shortly he watched her cold, sweaty hand, before he returned to look at her eyes. "It's quite alright." It was the last thing to worry about, he thought and he didn't care. The only thing that counted was her being alive and well. "Honestly, my stitch work may leave quite a lot to be desired, so." Also that wasn't a thing to worry about, it was okay for her. "It's okay. I was never much of a two-piece bathing suit kind of gal anyway."

"I cannot believe what you did, Caitlin. I mean, staying awake during you own surgery, that's one thing, but talking my clumsy hands through it, that's quite the other. You are immensely brave. You fought through the pain like I've never seen anyone before." The words barely came out of his mouth, he still was a bit nervously because of what he did before. "You did all the hard work." Caitlin replied.

"Hardly." He silently laughed.

"You going soft on me, Julian?" He agreed, he did. "Absolutely." He thought about their relationship while she was asleep and he stood on her side until she woke up again. And Julian was so afraid of loosing her, that he had this one thing in his mind. Should he tell her about his feelings? Of course they had their problems lately and he lost his trust. But to be honest, he really wanted to tell her about his feelings before, wanted to tell her before he found out about the stone. Then we was mad at her a time, his feeling on the contrary didn't change. Every time he saw her, something in himself told him that it was the greatest thing, she changed him. Suddenly some bunch of bravery went through his whole body. A long time now he always imagined how it would be to kiss her and this was the right opportunity. Slowly he stood up, his eyes caught hers and he lean forward, over her. His right had touched her warm face and he came slowly near her, still focusing on her eyes. His head told him not to do it, because it was afraid she wouldn't let him but his heart won. A flash run through his body, he could feel butterflies in his stomach trying to escape. When their lips met each other, they both could feel what they were feeling for the other and enjoyed the whole moment. It last just for some seconds but it felt like hours, until Julian put his hand clumsily on her fresh surged wound. Sharply she inhaled the air, pain running through her body again and Julian made an galvanic move.

"I'm so terribly sorry. That's most clumsy of me." He just massed up the perfect moment with his awkwardness.

"Some bedside manner you got there." She just relied.

"I'm working on it." broth burst out into careful laughter.

It went slowly night outside when Caitlin woke up again. A short amount of time she needed to orientate again. She found herself still in the same bed. Nobody was there, even Julian had gone. She decided to switch on the television and sapped through the channels. One channel found her attention, it was about surgeries, but it couldn't hold her attention because Cisco came in the second after. In his hands he had jelly, one for her and one for himself. She was happy he visited her and she was also happy about the jelly until she saw its colour. Her outstretched arm rebound when she saw it was green. "No more strawberry." Cisco hand her the jelly and she took it but looked at it, as if she would hate it. "What do you mean, there's no more strawberry? I just bought some, like, a week ago." It was as if it had disappeared right after she put it into the fridge.

"Yeah, well, I may have eaten some, slash...all." Cisco said honestly, sat onto the end of her bed. Did he really say, what she heard? He really ate all the strawberries? "Cisco." Caitlin swore, when she came out of bed, she would kill him for that and force him to buy new ones.

"Do you want me to go out and get you more strawberry Jell-O? I will get you more." His mouth was full of the green jelly and he didn't seem do mean it. 'Oh yeah, I would love you to go and get me my damn strawberry Jell-O!' Caitlin thought concerned. "No, it's fine, but next time I operate on you, you're getting bupkes, mister." she replied instead.

"Mm, next time you operate on me, maybe you can...fix my broken heart." It was all about Gypsy, who went away, the second sort of villain he was interested in. "I'm sorry it didn't work out with you and Gypsy."

H.R. Stepped into the room, looked and Cisco and Caitlin. "There you guys are. I've been looking all over for...what are you doing in bed?" H.R. asked as he saw her laying in bed. "It's a long story, H.R."

Then H.R. started to talk about a girl, Rhonda, Cisco totally flipped out because even the false Wells met a girl and seemed to be successful. "Okay. Oh, my God. Stop talking. You gotta let somebody know next time you decide to go on a two-day love romp."

"Who was worried about me?" then H.R. faced Caitlin. "He was. I'm touched." Now his hands lay on Cisco's shoulder. Caitlin watched the whole scene with amusement.

"You'll be touched in the face with a hammer the next time you pull something like that."  
The scene was so absurd, it really was funny to see. "Guys, stop it. Don't make me laugh, or I'll bust my stitches."

After Caitlin gave H.R. her Jell-O he left with a laughter and with the words, which were difficult to understand because of all the green jelly in his mouth, "I...love the lime.".  
"You were really worried about him, weren't you?" They made her forget the upholding pain, she appreciated the great conversation between them. "Just promise me that you'll never ever tell him." Cisco requested. "Cross my heart and hope to..." She never finished the sentence because she lost her consciousness the next moment. The life-support machine began to made an alarming noise. Cisco panicked. "Caitlin?" As loud as he could he screamed for help.

One moment later Julian run into the room, anxiously asking what happened. "Hold her down, hold her down." he screamed. "H.R., grab her legs. Hold her down!"

All three of them looked down to her, asking what had happened. She wasn't breathing anymore. Julian advised them to grab everything to revitalise her. The beeping noise of the device became constant. A few minutes they tried everything to bring her back to life. None of it helped, she was dead. Julian's head was empty, desperately searching for a solution, which would bring her back to life. No there was nothing he could do. Accept it could he neither. Everything happened so fast, something in him broke. He looked to Cisco and to H.R., both looked the same as he did. His world fell apart, every happy moment seemed to drown now in despair. Tears went into his eyes and suddenly his look fell upon her necklace. Fast he looked at the other two before he grabbed the necklace, hold in his hand and ripped it from her neck. "Stop! That's not what she wanted!" Cisco shouted. "I don't care! I'm not gonna sit here and watch her die, okay?" Julian shouted, too, though his voice sounded hopeless.  
The room was only filled with the constant beeping of the life-support machine, everyone was looking at her body laying lifeless on the bed. A very long moment went until the machine stopped that silly noise, she beeping was now a punctual beeping again. Her wound closed within no minute and it looked like the accident had never happened. Caitlin exhaled cold air and the room seemed to became colder, too. When her eyes opened again, Julian was first relieved, but her eyes became ice grey. The machine's noise became faster again and in the next moment an icy explosion rushed through the room. H.R., Cicso and Julian were thrown against walls and glass vitrines. Julian landed in the glass covered cupboard at one end of the room. Feeling the splinters of glass everywhere at his body, he tried to stand up. Also his head hurt. Hardly able to get up again and a bit out of orientation he looked up. Where Caitlin lay before vanished an icy cloud and a person with icy silver hair stood there, her skin pale and her eyes full of anger, her lips icy blue. Shocked Cisco's and Julian's eyes met, they realised what had happened.


	9. Bitter Taste

Shock hit him when he was able to think straight again. What had he done? He was insane, he made her become Killer Frost. It was the last thing he wanted, Julian just wanted her to be alive, didn't want to loose her.  
Now he just lay on a bed too, Iris had helped him to get rid of all the glass splinters when he and Barry arrived.  
Caitlin, or Killer Frost, vanished right after she got her conscious back again. But it wasn't her, Caitlin still was gone. Julian gave himself the fault of what happened, he wasn't able to see into a mirror again. Everything, his whole body hurt, he suffered a strong headache because he hit the cupboard.  
A day after the accident, when he was able to walk without much pain, he went into the surgery room and tried to think, hardly, it didn't work. The only thing he saw, was what happened the evening before, Caitlin dying and becoming Killer Frost. Carefully he went through the room, everything was how they left it. This place was a mess, splinters of glass and other particles lay on the floor. When he looked around, he detected something glowing next the place he hit during the explosion wave. Slowly and carefully, not to step into other particles, he went to the place and picked in up. It was Caitlin's necklace which lost something of its brightness. A long moment he looked straight at it. 'Caitlin.' Shortly after, he dispersed it into his pockets.

Long hours Julian sat on the bed in the surgery room and the terrible moment played again and again in his head. Isolated from the others, he let his pain free room, tears run out of his eyes.

From now on his world was grey, he didn't want to live anymore. The first few days he tried to get everyone else to search for her, but they were also occupied with helping Iris. This was always the prior thing to do, helping Iris. Cisco and him tried as much as they could and they found her more than once. Though, Caitlin slipped away out of their sight every time they were close to her.  
Two weeks had passed by and Julian found himself, always coming back into the place it happened. Nobody else, except Cisco came sometimes to do the same as him, thinking. Julian was thankful that Cisco became something like a really good friend these days, because he had gone mad, if he had be all by himself.  
The third week started and Julian lost all his powers to move on. He wasn't able to find the woman he loved and he wasn't able to get a clear head. Again he went in a quiet moment into the, still devastated, room and saw again what happened that day. As the door opened and Cisco came in, he came back to reality. "Nothing." Cisco muttered sad. "There is no sign of her and I don't know where else I could look after her." Silently he moved and sat himself next to Julian, who looked preoccupied. "We need to find her, Cisco. We had to. I won't give up on Caitlin." Cisco looked at him, he felt the same. "You are totally right!" Cisco shouted. "I'll find her." enthusiastic he left the room, motivated again. Julian was so grateful to have Cisco on his side, though he appreciated to be alone these days more often.

Julian didn't know, how late it was but because Cisco didn't showed up again, he investigated it couldn't be that late. The boy always came back to talk to him, when he was about to leave S.T.A.R. Labs in the evening. Still absently he began to hear a voice. " _Julian._ " it whispered in his ears. " _Find me!_ " it said louder. A long time he hadn't heard strange voices and now there was it again. " _Find me!_ " He knew the sound of that voice but for one moment he wasn't quite sure from where. " _Julian! Go and find me._ " But then it was very clear and he went in shock. Why now? Why again, because the stone disappeared and there was no other connection between them. What was Savitar up against. Panic rose in him but he followed the voice because he had no other choice.

Before he obeyed the voice's task be went looking for Cisco. When he went out of the room, he nearly run into him. "Hey, I just wanted to come for you, this very moment. Your going home?" Julian nodded, grabbed Cisco's jacket. "I need to talk to you." he whispered so quiet, even Cisco was barely able to hear it. "What is it?" he asked curiously.

" _Julian!_ " sweaty he awoke, suffered from a really bad dream. It was as if the situation even appeared in his dreams and he hated it. Lazily he stepped out of his bed, ruffled through his untidy hair and took a warm shower. " _Find me. Follow my voice!_ " It was him, he was sure. Carefully he threw himself in some clothes after the shower and run out of his flat. He felt into an art of trance, his feet took one step after another. He didn't know where he was going and he really didn't care much about it. The only thing he knew was to find the source of the voice.  
The grey but still light sky became darker and darker, the night was almost there again, another day passed by, without a hint of Caitlin's whereabouts. If there had been any sign of her, Cisco would have called, he was sure about this.

Still no idea about were Julian was going, only following the voice, he realised that the sky turned deep black now and he wasn't able to see much. His way lent him to a place near the water. In the distance he saw light. It flickered and came nearer, his feet carried him there. A few minutes later he stood in front of an empty, closed warehouse of Argus, or at least a sign on the wall told him that. He didn't know much about that firm but he had heard it before somewhere. Carefully he opened the door in front of him and sneaked in. Only one power source at the end of the huge hall, told him where to go. Carefully he made his way to that light source and found nothing. The hall was empty, total empty and nothing made sense. Julian didn't understand what was going on or what he did there. He had just followed the voice, the well-known voice, who showed him the way into this warehouse. All the way his mind was cleared but now every thought came back to him, overwhelmed him. In pain he shouted, fell on his knees, tears run down his cheeks. 'Why? Why am I here?' he asked himself. 'What is this about?' He hide his face behind his hands, staring at the grey floor. All his motivation to live was gone, but crying was a good thing, everything washed away.

" _Julian!_ " said the voice again but he tried to ignore it. " _I want you to become Alchemy once again._ " it said, still whispering into his mind. " _I have a task for you to fulfil!_ " When he looked up again, the voice resounding in his, now empty, head and in front of him lay Dr Alchemy's mask. Slowly he took it and stood up.

"Hello Alchemy." an also very familiar voice said. Julian turned around and in front of him stood Killer Frost, an icy smile on her face. 'Caitlin' was the last thought that went through his mind before he lost consciousness.


	10. Unfulfillable Task

The first thing Julian saw, when he woke up again was Killer Frost's cold expression and her blue lips, which forced a broad grin. "Welcome back Dr Alchemy." she said coldly. "Hope you won't pass out again. I don't want to wait for you any longer." Alchemy didn't understand what this was about to be. Neither did he know where he was. "Where am I?" Alchemy's voice asked.  
"Oh, don't mind that. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters, is what we are about to do." Julian could barely see, everything was fuzzy, if felt like he didn't had control of his body, as if he was a very far away spectator. His mind was blended, but he could clearly see Caitlin with Killer Frost's silver icy hairs, smiling at him coldly, as he never saw her smiling. She wasn't herself, she was Killer Frost! "Caitlin!" he shouted but no tone came out of Alchemy's mouth. Julian was imprisoned in his own body and Dr Alchemy had control of it.

"Follow me." Killer Frost said and Alchemy did follow. "First we need to break into another warehouse of Argus, our master needs something from it." She explained. "You'll see when we arrive there." They made their way to the place and near the warehouse they stopped. "I don't know how well it's protected but I need to get in. Stay here." Alchemy did again as he was told and waited until she came back. Time passed by and after half an hour or so, she came back with something big in her hand. "I know it's not the Philosophers Stone, but it will do well. It's a great weapon. You'll see." Another cold smile appeared shortly on her face, carefully she handed Alchemy the gun. Curiously he took a look at it, was surprised of the gun's weight. It was as light as a feather. The gun was in a good condition and looked very professional. Unlike usual guns it looked high-tech. Alchemy lay his index finger on the trigger, aimed at the nearest tree and shot. A frosty beam let everything near the gun cover with ice and the tree was covered with ice. It was a Cold gun. A shock hit Julian's consciousness, it was the Cold gun Cisco talked many times about. It was Leonard Snart's Cold gun and Julian didn't like what just happened. He needed to find out what Caitlin was up against and stop her before something bad would happen! Julian became more aware of the fact that he needed to fight against Alchemy, he wanted to get his body under his control again. But he still felt weak, to weak to do anything.

"It's time now." Killer Frost said. "You will enjoy it as much as I will. Let's give our old friends a visit." she laughed.

Another, stronger shock hit Julian. They were on their way to S.T.A.R. Labs. He needed to warn them, he couldn't let Killer Frost hurt them, Caitlin wouldn't want this nor did he. But he had no choice, he was just a slave of hers and his own body.

His body walked next to her, he could just see what Alchemy saw. Julian really wanted to look to the right and to left, so he could find out where they were. With all his strength he tried to force his body to do what he want, but nothing happened. Wondering, why he was imprisonment in his own body he asked himself what Savitar did to him, when he forced him the first time to work for him. He couldn't remember anything of what happened when he was Alchemy the last times and he wasn't sure, that if he was in control of his body again, he would remember. But it didn't matter at the moment because he couldn't find an answer to that question, he needed to find out by practice.  
At the moment the only thing he could do was watching Alchemy walking in the dark next to Killer Frost, who was lighten the space between them because she was so icy. Another thing he tried not to bother about this very moment. It was more urgent to tell the team that they were in danger. But how could he manage it?

Again he tried to compel his body to do what he wanted. Suddenly his body stopped, looked around. Killer Frost stopped abruptly, looked confused at him. "What is it?" she snarled. "Never mind." said Julian with Alchemy's voice. He started to walk again, but slower. She would recognise soon but he needed to slow her down and find a way out of this dilemma. Fast he looked around to see if he knew the place. After they turned around the next corner, he realised the place. It was the park, he and Caitlin shared memories about. He remembered the night, after the gorilla fiasco, he met her there and asked her out, they were eating steak right afterwards. Quietly he sighed, hoped she didn't recognise. This place also meant it didn't take them too long to get to S.T.A.R. Labs, only one or two miles left. Fast he calculated how much time he had left. About thirty minutes he assumed. Thirty minutes to work out a plan and to get into full control of his body. He felt Alchemy fighting back, a hard shock flew through his mind and he lost control. 'Bloody hell.' he shouted and snarled. It took him a moment to find his thought again...What could he do? He also needed to find out what Savitar was after, maybe he could get information from Killer Frost. But because of the inference with Alchemy he was sure, he had just one other possibility to get control of himself again. Therefore he needed to figure a plan out first.

Twenty-five minutes left.  
'Okay, think. We are on the way the S.T.A.R. Labs and she equipped me with the Cold gun, I presume is quite strong. What is she after? Taking Iris away from Barry?' Was his first thought, but he shortly refused that idea. 'No, it's not the time for that, she has still a few months left. Hurting everyone? Showing them that Alchemy is back? I don't know.' Julian was desperately.

Twenty minutes left.

'I just hope Cisco is watching the security cameras, so he will see when we're arriving. I have just one opportunity to abandon Alchemy, stop Killer Frost and find out what Savitar is after!' So he decided to let them intrude into S.T.A.R. Labs, hoped that Cisco would appear at first, Caitlin had always a strong bound to him, and take back control of himself, almost everything at once. He needed to focus, is fear had no place at the moment.

Eighteen minutes left.

Killer Frost and right behind her, Alchemy arrived where they wanted to arrive. The headquarters of Team Flash! Killer Frost smiled icily into the security camera above the entrance before they entered.

Fourteen minutes left.

The lift sprung open, a cold cloud rose high out of the open door. Slowly Killer Frost and Alchemy took a step forward and looked into the face of Cisco. "Hello Vibe." she said in her typical Killer Frost attitude, Cisco looked shocked at her and Alchemy, stopped at him and muttered something Julian couldn't understand. "How could you betray us too?" he shouted at Alchemy, Julian was sorry. "Don't be so rude." Killer Frost giggled next to him, Julian could see hatred in Cisco's face rising and spitefulness in hers. "We're not staying for long, Vibe." "Oh shut up Caitlin. I don't know what happened to you, but we'll get you back!" he screamed angrily."But you Julian! How could you. After everything! I trusted you. You ripped that necklace from her neck, it's all your fault. It's you fault, what she became. You ran to play with her, to find salvation? How dare you!" But Alchemy didn't said anything. He was only an empty puppet, a figure who did everything Killer Frost said. Julian felt sorry, he wanted to explain.

Ten minutes.

But wait! Cisco said something about Caitlin's necklace. He remembered himself wrapping it into his pocket. "I have nothing left to say." said Alchemy calmly and pointed the gun at Cisco. "Is that - ?" he asked shocked. "Oh yeah, it is. It's the best weapon to kill you, Vibe, isn't it? You made it." Loud laughter came out of her mouth, it was hard for Julian to control his hands, his index finger started to move. "What are you waiting for? KILL HIM." she shouted. "Wait." screamed Cisco. "Please! - " he put out his arm, Alchemy's finger slacked and he put his finger away from the trigger. "What do you want?" Killer Frost snapped.

"Before you're going to kill me.." it was hard for him to speak that words. "Tell me what is your plan?"

Seven minutes left.  
Killer Frost crossed her arms in front of her breast. "Fine." she started angrily. "We want The Flash to suffer. Savitar wants us so kill his beloved friends. My dear Alchemy here is helping me. Julian was so weak, as weak as Caitlin was. But they're both gone. And now you will die!"

Five minutes left.

"But – But who is Savitar?" Cisco continued, looked at Killer Frost.

"You wouldn't believe." her cold smile was omnipresent. - "Try me."

"Someone very close. But I won't reveal much more. Now, KILL HIM."  
Three minutes.

Alchemy's index finger moved again, slowly because Julian was fighting against it but he slowly put it onto the trigger of the Cold gun, which still pointed at Cisco.

Two minutes.

Julian tried as hard as he could to stop Alchemy. He focused on his finger, his hand began to tremble, his finger moved and didn't moved at the same time. Alchemy and Julian fought a battle of gaining the control. Alchemy screamed a painful scream, he breathed heavily through his mask. Now his whole arm was trembling until the gun fell towards the ground. Quietly Julian could hear Killer Frost scream a terribly "NO!" but his focus still lay on fighting Alchemy. Trembling and clenching his arm moved towards his coat pocket and he grabbed something familiar. He wasn't in full control, so he forced himself to collect all of his power and pull Alchemy away.

Alchemy's voice made a terrible noise and both, Cisco but also Killer Frost held their hands over their ears because it made them hurt. The next moment, Julian felt himself again, he ripped of the mask of the lunatic and hastily looked first at Cisco, then at Killer Frost. Both still had there hands over their ears.

Thirty seconds.

Julian worked as fast as he could. He run at Killer Frost, put out Caitlin's necklace and tied it around her neck. Before she could act, she could feel her power draw away from her. "What – What have you done?" she asked out of fear. "My powers, they're leaving me! You betrayed me!" Killer Frost screamed loudly. The moment after she lost her consciousness and fell, but before she hit the ground Julian caught her and lay her carefully down.

"Are you okay mate?" he asked Cisco. The man just nodded. "For a moment I really thought you were gone." He sounded relieved, fell into Julian's arms. It was the strongest hug he ever got. "You were really lucky, you told me about the voices before you left. I could prepare for anything." Cisco smiled tiredly. "We need to bring her into one of the cortex cells, just in case." Julian said. He was exhausted. It was a hard bit of work, to pull Alchemy out of his body and it seemed, he didn't lost his memories this time. Carefully Julian carried Caitlin, who's hair, eyes, skin and lips became normal looking again, and lay her down in one of the cells. Slowly he sat down next to her. "I'll stay with her." he said calmly at Cisco. "Just in case." The other one nodded, then he closed the cell.

Also exhausted, Cisco sat himself at the other end of the cell and sighed.

Silence fell over them.

"Thank you mate." Julian said after a while. "For what?" Julian chuckled. "You reminded me of the necklace. You saved us three." Again silence. Exhausted and tired both fell asleep.


	11. Cure Wounds

Hazy Caitlin woke up, tried to orientate. It took her a minute to realise where she was. She found herself in the cortex, in one of the cramped cells, which she really hated. For a few more minutes her eyes were fogged and it was difficult to focus on anything. After she managed that, she saw a person laying beside her. Another moment and she figured out, it was Julian who slept next to her. Slowly she tried to stand up but she tumbled, her body dragged her back to the floor, her head was hurting too. The cortex cell was dark, the door before the cortex cell had been closed but she didn't know why she and Julian lay here.

Hardly she tried to remember anything that happened before, but the last thing which came in her mind was the conversation between Cisco and H.R.. She sighed. After an eternity of trying to force her mind to tell her what had happened she heard Julian waking up. "Julian?" she asked him quietly after he looked at her. A weary smile appeared on his face. "How are you?" he asked her.  
"Fine – I think. What happened? I barely remember anything."

It was the thing he though long about the evening before, about Caitlin and how Killer Frost ended. Two things came into his mind. First, he supposed he needed to tell her what she did when she became Killer Frost. This was because he as Alchemy always, except the last time, forgot what he did when he was his alter ego. The second thing that came into his mind was the fact that they could persuade Caitlin to infiltrate Savitar, so they were able to find out who he was. But he wouldn't ever do anything again without her permission. He would first talk with Cisco about this before he would enforce her to go back to Savitar.

But first things first! So Julian told Caitlin everything that went so terribly wrong. How he ripped of her necklace to saved her, how she turned full Killer Frost and how he became Alchemy again. While he was talking, her warm brown eyes, and he really appreciate that they went back to their natural colour again, fixated his blue ones. One or two times a light shock hit her, her expression turned sad in the end. "I – I wanted to kill Cisco?" was the first thing coming out of her mouth. Tears ran down her cheeks and she looked away, stared on the wall behind Julian. "Yes." he said very quiet. His eyes became glassy too, it was hard for him to talk about the last month. And when he finished he looked away ashamed. "I'm so sorry Caitlin." he sobbed. "But – But I didn't know what else to do. It was all my fault. I made you the one thing you feared the most." His sight fixated on the floor, he was embarrassed, not able to look at her ever again. Out of the sudden he could feel her, unexpectedly warm, hand on his cheeks. A faint smile formed around her lips. "I should be angry with you because of what you did, but I'm exhausted of being angry with people." Irritated Julian looked at her. Was it right what he just heard? She wasn't angry?  
"But – I don't understand. I did a horrible thing. I ignored your wish, I made your worst fear come true." The words barely came out of his mouth, tears filled his eyes again, he sobbed badly. "It's okay." Caitlin said calmly and gave him a slight hug. The man was so happy, she acted like this, though he didn't understand why. He responded the hug and let himself fall into her arms. He felt as though he was the one who became someone else and she was the one who saved him.

A long moment they hugged each other and exchanged their sadness. Both of them felt good with the situation, none of them spoke the next hour, they just expressed their feelings, the darkness in the small room also helped, so nobody would see their tears. The morning vanished and nearly mid-day Cisco opened the outer door to the cortex. Julian and Caitlin were both blended by the light and Cisco looked sleepily into their eyes. "Good morning, sunshine." he said half asleep. "I bet you both would like to get out of here, am I right?" Both nodded at once, still not able to speak much. "Great." he replied and open the cell door.

–

Julian took Caitlins hand and helped her to stand up. It was a bit difficult for her the first minutes to stay because her legs were numb. She appreciated his warm hand and strong arm, to hold her. Therefore she didn't let go his hand when she stood safely. Hand in hand they walked into the centre of the building, followed by Cisco. "Look who we have here." he said enjoyable. The room was quite full. Everyone was there and it seemed they had a tactic discussion about what to do next. Everyone looked at them with sceptical looks on their faces. It was just natural that they would act like they did. Caitlin was Killer Frost just one day before and Julian also wasn't himself as much as he wished at last. But they were back to normal and he hoped that everyone would understand the situation. "Caitlin?" Barry asked as he did a step into their direction. Caitlin's cold, but not that cold, hand closed a bit tighter and Julian could see so much remorse in her eyes. "I'm so so sorry." she whispered, her grasp becoming even tighter once more. But instead of being angry, Barry walked another step and finally hugged Caitlin, who responded it after a short balk. "I'm..no we all are glad that you are back." he said honestly. After they dissipate their hug Barry tuned towards Julian. "Thank you. Thank you for bringing her back." he said and patted his shoulder. Julian was a bit irritated, because this wasn't the welcoming he expected. "Don't thank me mate. I'm not proud of what I did." Barry smiled and Caitlin grabbed his hand again. "But you can Julian. Honestly. Because of you Caitlin isn't dead and she is also with us again." A small smirk appeared on Julian's lips. It was true though and he would always do the same again. Because he really loved Caitlin and could never let her die, no matter what happened. "So." interrupted Joe. "What are we supposed to do with Savitar? You recognised, that guy is still out there and we still need to find out who he is." "Oh noo." It was H.R. who wasn't happy about that circumstance. "I hate that guy." he said desperately. A long time nobody said anything until Julian broke the silence. "Maybe I know a way." he said. All eyes looked at him all of a sudden, as though they were a bit shocked. "B-but I don't know if it's the best and safest way."

The silence lasted a long time. They all waited for him to continue but he was not sure if he should share his thought with the team or even think of it as a good idea.


	12. New Opportunities

**I knew, it was a long time, but I got some problems with motivation to go on with this story but now I'm back to finish it for you guys. The next chapter will be a bit shorter than the others, but so there will be some more chapters. =) Have fun and tell me what you think.**

When Julian didn't start to talk, Cisco turned towards him. Julian looked very insecure how he stood there and everybody else fixating him. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked him and forced him to leave the room behind him. When they entered another room and Julian had closed the door behind him, Cisco looked curious into his eyes. "What prevents you from telling?" he asked warmly. Julian thought short about what to say. "It's because it involves Caitlin." he answered shortly. "Savitar can't know that she is back to normal so far. So, and it's just a thing in my mind, that Caitlin could dress like Killer Frost and investigate for us. It wouldn't be dangerous for her to find things out." Cisco stared at him. He never thought of that, but he also wasn't sure if it was the best idea. "But...But what if he knows? What if he knows that Caitlin isn't Killer Frost anymore? What if he kills her? We can't risk it."

"I know. That is the reason I hesitated to tell everyone. "With his bright blue eyes Julian fixated the floor, refused to look at Cisco. Another pro argument formed into his mind. "There is another thing..." he started. "..even when Savitar finds out that Caitlin is herself again, she could foul him and tell him that it was her plan that we would think that, you know?"

A moment the room was filled with silence, Julian staring at Cisco, because he waited for a proper answer from his colleague. The nervousness forced itself through him again, he was obviously overwhelmed with all what happened in the short time he worked at S.T.A.R. Labs but Julian was also happy about having the opportunity of meeting all this great people. But what would happen to Caitlin if their plan would fail? He couldn't let that happen, his feelings were far too deep to let anything happen to Caitlin again. Still he wasn't sure if his plan was good or not. Something else popped just in his mind, when Cisco suddenly started to speak. "I think.." but Cisco didn't came much further because he was stopped. "Drop it. It's no good plan." Julian said cold with a bit of fear in his voice. Bewildered Cisco looked at him. "What? Do we have now a discussion about the fact that you switch your opinion in about three minutes?" his eyebrow moved, and he stared at Julian with an unbelieving look on his face.  
"Just imagine. Savitar will drop us all dead if he finds out. I've just the opinion we should include as less people as possible." Cisco's sight became more sceptical. "You imply we shouldn't trust our team then?" He folded his arms. "No, I just say we should be careful. Let us discuss it with Caitlin and tell the others a cover up story, so no one except us knows."

Suddenly the door went shut and both men looked around. "I'll do it." said a determined Caitlin, who had crossed her arms. "How long did you stand there?" Cisco asked. "About enough time to answer your thoughts. I'll do it, it has to be done and Savitar has to vanish." Her eyes were nearly cold, but Julian could see hope, determination and fear in them. "I trust you both and we should act as soon as possible. It won't take long until it's an impossible act." Slowly she walked towards Julian and grabbed his hands. Their eyes fixated each others. "Are you sure about this?" he asked uncertain. "Your life is on the loose if you go back to him." She nodded. "I trust you. I said that before and I mean it. You didn't let me down when I needed you the most, you supported me always. Let's do it."

They were both still fixated on each other when Cisco cleared his throat. "Ehem, guys?" Both swang around and saw that now all other members of S.T.A.R. Labs stood in the room and looked at them. In an awkward moment they all stared at each other until Cisco spoke. "Well guys, I think we should let them alone." With these words he pushed H.R., Barry and Iris out of the room. In a second Julian could see H.R. smirk at him. "Bravo Albert, bravo. Well done." And finally they were gone.  
"They probably think we're.." Caitlin began but Julian had pulled her near him and a short long moment their eyes met. A glimpse later his soft lips touched hers and a crinkle exploded in her stomach. All colours were mixed together and the world around them seemed to stop. What a long time she hoped this would happen. Their tongues played inside their mouths, their thoughts went skyrocketing, the room around them moved fast. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought it would explode. His hands hold her close and when they let go, Julian stroked her cheek. Their eyes met again and a smile appeared on their lips. Carefully he grabbed her hand, and hold her tight, nobody said anything until Caitlin's expression changed, she made her decision. "Let's do it."

"Alright my lady." said Cisco when she came into his technical room. "We need to make your appearance authentic. I made you something." A small phial for you to drink, so you'll look just like Killer Frost and also your voice will be hers but you'll be able to be yourself. You don't have to worry, Cait." Caitlin smiled. "Thank you Cisco." she said and hugged him, then she kissed Julian again and went out of the door.

Cisco and Julian looked after her. "Do you think she'll be able to convince him?" Concern was to hear in his voice. Julian hoped that everything went good.

A moment later H.R. joined them and looked around. "Where did you hide Caitlin?" Julian looked over to Cisco, then both shrugged their shoulders. "She went some minutes ago. No idea where she headed." He finally said. H.R. accepted it, then smiled at Julian. "You got the girl, didn't you?" "I hope so, mate. I hope so."


	13. Final Battle

"Where have you been?" Savitar asked her. "I played with your enemies." She smiled. "You were at S.T.A.R. Labs. I told you not to go there unless I tell you to." Slowly she walked towards Savitar and tried to stay calm. "I know. But I had to..." She began. A shrill cry came out of Savitar's mouth. "NO, YOU HADN'T!" Caitlin shrieked back.

"Yes. I'm sorry." Carefully she walked backwards and let herself into a chair. Then she surveyed the situation the rest of the day. It just wasn't that exciting because she couldn't see anything of what he did. Whatever he plotted, he was totally by himself and walked around, flashed around or talked some babbrish to himself, she never understood anything. Though it seemed that their plan worked because he wasn't suspicious. Weeks went by and Caitlin was able to play Killer Frost perfectly. It didn't seem that something would important happened at all until some weeks before Iris was going to die.

Caitlin was sleeping in their sort of cave until she heard some kind of noise from outside her room. Sleepily she stood up and dressed in her normal Killer Frost outfit and walked outside. Behind some desks she could see Savitar and some hydraulic noises. Savitar's suit was opening and Caitlin watched with excitement. Finally, she would find out who was behind the mask. Then, the next moment she couldn't believe her eyes. There stood Barry Allen, her friend. But that couldn't be. It was impossible. How? Her world broke apart, a massive shock hit her, and she couldn't move. Her brain tried so hard to process that information.

A few moments later she was finally in a position to think straight again. Fast she closed her mouth, which fell open out of shock the moment before.

When he turned around and looked in her face, she tried her best not to show the surprise she had felt. "It's nearly time." He said. The right sight of his face suffered from burnings and his right eye coloured differently. His eyes focused her, a cold sight which she never saw on Barry's face before, but she understood that it wasn't him. "I have a task for you. Team Flash will reach out for a woman named Tracy Dudek. I want you to kill her." Caitlin nodded silently and left the false Barry.

She knew what she had to do now. Fastly she sorted out where Tracy worked and headed that way. On the way there she texted Cisco the address, to be sure that they would be there, too. When she arrived, Barry, Cisco and H.R. were talking to the scientist. "That's way too easy." She said amused and threw ice at Tracy. "Get them out of here." Cisco said. "I'll have her." Barry looked surprised at him. "Yeah, Barry. Just get her out of here." The Flash nodded to his friend and everyone except Cisco and Caitlin was gone. "How did you know that we were here?" Cisco asked her curiously.

Their eyes met, and Caitlin hugged her best friend. " The hug didn't last long. "I don't have much time." She said. "It's Barry. Savitar is Barry. That is how he is always a step ahead, because he did live it before. Cisco, we need to do anything, if we want to save Iris. Say Julian, I'm fine." And then she was gone. Cisco stood there, with the same thoughts on his mind as Caitlin had, when she found out.

Back in S.T.A.R. Labs, Cisco didn't leave his room all day until the evening when he shared that ritual with Julian. Devastated he sat himself onto a stool and stared into the nothing. A few moments later Julian entered the room. "What's up, mate? You don't look good." He didn't look up but said quite silently. "We need to get out of here. Come with me."

Cisco slowly walked out of the room and left the building. They nearly walked twenty minutes until he found rest, sat himself on a park bench. "So?" asked Julian curiously. "It's worse anything we imagined…" It was a cold summer night; the wind was blowing hard around them, and the moon was just starting to grow again.

All in all, the weather suited the situation. "Worse than expected?" Julian asked himself what could have been worse. Sure, Cisco looked like he just met a ghost but was it really that bad? "Then who is it?" Curiosity was killing him. "Barry…" Cisco started. "..but Caitlin said he was some sort of damaged copy of him."

Julian thought hard about what Cisco just told him. A copy of Barry was Savitar? In which world might that make sense. But then he remembered that he lived in a world full of metahumans, so everything was possible. Though it was still a shock to hear that news, he never thought that Barry could be their enemy. But it also had a positive aspect. They now knew who the enemy was and, so they would be able to prepare their battle properly. Cisco had the same thought because his expression changed suddenly. The time went by, while they developed a plan.

Late that night Julian went home and found a Killer Frost version of Caitlin sitting before his doorstep. "What are you doing here?" he asked calmly, and a warm smile appeared on his lips. She returned it and waited until he unlocked his door. Slowly she followed him inside and closed the door behind her. Julian turned around and faced her, his eyes locked in hers. Some of her white hair fell into her face.

Slowly Julian came nearer, their eyes still locked until his face was near hers. His warm hand touched her cold face, to put the hair out of it. He could feel her breath on his skin, was able to hear her heart beating fast, her cold skin on his hand, which touched her face once more, wandering to her neck and pushing her against the door, their bodies very close. The warm and cold body mixed their temperatures, their faces were now very close, the tips of their noses met. Ice cold met warm and finally their lips met.

When they met, an explosion went through both their bodies and joy filled them. Affectionate their tongues met, their kiss was very passionate. The time seemed to stand still, the room around them flew away in circles. A very long moment both forgot about Savitar and the rest of the world, they just enjoyed this moment. His hands ran through her white hair, soft but so pure white. Her scent filled his nostrils, her soft lips merged more and more with his. Carefully he broke the kiss and looked at her. Suddenly he grabbed her waist and carried her onto his bed, where he started to kiss her again.

Julian woke the next morning with her in his arms. First, he thought that he was dreaming but when she turned around he saw her struggling with waking up. She made some weird noises and finally opened her eyes. First, she was puzzled, probably didn't know where she was but realised what happened the last night at his place.

"Good morning, love." Julian smiled at her. "Morning." Was all she said but he loved seeing her like that. The next moment she sprang out of his bed, shock written over her face. "I need to go back!" she nearly screamed at him. Puzzlement made him raise, too. For the evening he forgot about all about the problems they had.

"Listen. Cisco and I have a plan.." and so Julian told her everything he and Cisco had planned throughout the last week. It was a risk they would face but he knew that it was crucial to let her know everything.

Caitlin listened patiently while he spoke. She nodded here and there. Her eyes locked with his all the time and when he was done her mouth stood open. She understood what was necessary to do but it needed a lot of strength to execute this plan.

She left from Julian's with a knot in her throat. Not only because of what she had heard but also because she knew she had to go back. Again. And explain to Savitar where she was. When everything went after plan, she wouldn't get hurt at all, no one would. But there was a ten percent chance that their plan wouldn't work at all. Only ten percent. She clung her thoughts onto that. It had to work.

While Caitlin was on her way back to Savitar, Cisco planned everything with Julian over his phone. Cisco tabbed on his tablet almost as fast as Barry was able to run. Every time someone entered the room, he winced and took a deep breath afterwards.

Once Iris came in and watched him with fascination. "You work hard today." Cisco didn't look up from his tablet. "Yeah obviously. This is vital." He held up his tablet in the air and wield it in his hand. After he gave her an exhausted look he started to tab again. Iris gave him an annoyed gaze but let him be his usual self. Though, she observed that something about him was rather odd today.

Cisco sighed when he finished and pulled his hair out of his face. Three hours left until they stroke. It was the perfect time, the perfect place. He just needed to get Iris. So, when the sun was nearly behind the horizon, he looked for her. And found her in the end in the cortex room. He was lucky that she was alone. The last thing he wanted was meeting Barry during their plan.

"Iris, we need your help. Barry is in trouble at the old cemetery." When Cisco saw an awestruck expression on her face, he knew that he had her. "Come with me. We gonna portal there right now." He opened a breach and they went through before Iris could complain.

"Tell me what's going on, Cisco." But Cisco wasn't answering. Instead he got out his phone and dialled Barry's number. When he picked up, Cisco took a deep breath and almost screamed in his phone. "He has her. We're at the old cemetery. Hurry. Please." He turned around and saw that Iris gave him a disapproving look.

Julian on the other hand followed Caitlin to Savitar's hideout. Memories of Alchemy came back into his mind, but he pushed them back. He needed to focus. When she went inside he hid behind some containers and sat still. He didn't know what would happen if their plan failed but he couldn't think about it either. Imagine the worst things was terrible.

So, he waited until she came back outside. "It worked. He is on his way. He said I should stay put. I don't think he trusts me that much, after all." Julian embraced her in a hug and felt her relax in it. "Let's go." Julian encouraged her, his heart beating very fast.

Cisco saw Savitar arriving. Well, he saw the blue lightning flashing towards them. With all his might he tried to stop himself from smiling. It actually worked. Now only Barry and Julian and Caitlin were missing.

His inwardly smile passed as Savitar grabbed Iris and held a blade in front of her throat. "I don't know what's going on, but I can kill her in this very second. The time doesn't matter." A shrill laugh made Cisco cringe. How he hated the speedster.

Barry arrived a second later and screamed a loud "Nooo!" Savitar approached him and another laugh made the earth quake.

Finally, also Julian and Caitlin arrived. They were a bit off road and watched the disaster. Caitlin looked at Julian, partly in shock, partly with insecurity. "You sure that will work?" she whispered, and Julian turned to her. "It has to." Then a smile decorated his face. His hands touched her cheeks and their eyes locked. He flinched at the touch of her cold face, because he forgot how big the Killer Frost influence still was. Finally, he relaxed and caressed her cheeks, with his left hand he put a strand of hair behind her ear. Carefully he reached out and pressed a kiss on her forehead. His lips tingled and when he broke away she gave him a warm grin. "I will. I know it."

"It's my performance now. Wish me luck." She said when Savitar was about to cut Iris' throat. With a flick of her hand pikes of ice flew towards the speedster. His blade froze and he let Iris fell to the ground out of shock. The next second Barry had Iris in his grip and flashed away. Caitlin shot more spikes at him and just as the first one, it hit Savitar by surprise.

"I thought better of you, Caitlin. But it seemed you are no longer an ally." His rich voice flooded the environment and Caitlin faltered for a moment. But a flicker of hate appeared in her eyes. She put more effort in fighting him. "I never was your ally. You used me." It was hurt that spoke out of her.

Julian couldn't really do much to help. But he hoped that everything would work out. The next set of spikes were no surprise for Savitar anymore and he flashed behind Caitlin. "Look out." Julian screamed, and she just got a wall of ice behind her in time. A second later and his blade would have run through her spine.

 _Good lord,_ Julian thought. Caitlin threw more spikes at him, but he dodged everyone of them. It was close a few times but against the speedster Caitlin did a very good job. Though, when Savitar vanished, she stood in surprise for a second. Julian and Cisco were irritated, too.

Suddenly a laugh made a shiver ran down Julian's spine. It made him freeze in place. "You have annoyed me more than enough." The voice of Savitar behind him made Julian turn around on the spot. And he froze again, when his blade emerged again, after a hell of pain hit him in his stomach. Julian looked into Savitar's glowing eyes. The pain was gone. But he felt blood leaving his body.

"Goodbye Julian." Was all the figure in front of him said. His sight blurred and when the blade left his body he collapsed to the ground. His knees trembled first, then he felt nothing, and his sight became blank. In the distance he could hear Caitlin shout and Cisco cursing.

Caitlin threw more ice at the speedster, now Killer Frost got full control of her. The anger and pain must have triggered it. Stronger than before she fought against Savitar. Her anger made her loose control. Almost, because the last bit of her consciousness held grip. Before Savitar could hit her with his blade, too, Cisco opened a breach and Savitar was gone.

"What took you so long?" Killer Frost asked him angrily. "Well, he's gone now.." was all Cisco could answer. His breath went heavily. He had used a lot of power. As Caitlin, he had reached his limits.

When Barry flashed back in, he looked at the situation in shock. "What happened?" he asked speechless. "Help me with them." Cisco didn't answer Barry. He just showed Barry to help him bring Caitlin, who collapsed, too, and Julian back to Star Labs.

Julian woke in a room he knew too well. It was the room in which Caitlin became Killer Frost and almost killed him. Though, this time he was the patient and she was sitting next to him, her head lay on the bed next to him. Careful he tried to stand up but the pain made him fall back.

Caitlin who must have heard him cry out in pain, woke up, too. "You're awake." She smiled and grabbed his hand. He realised she was back to her old Caitlin looks. Also, her hand felt beautifully warm. To nod was all he did. She squeezed his hand and her warm eyes stared into his.

"Did it work?" Julian asked after a while and she nodded. "Yeah, Cisco was able to breach him. It was close. But now everyone needs to heal up. Everyone's asleep. I came to look after you." She touched his cheek. An amazing tingling ran down his body from the space where she touched him.

"You need to go back to sleep. Okay?" she asked, worriedly and he cocked his head. "I'm fine." He said but the pain in his stomach said otherwise. "It will need some weeks for you to heal. Please, Julian." He sighed. "I have no other choice. Do I?" She shook her head. "No, you don't." With that she had the intention to turn around but Julian grabbed her wrist.

"Caitlin. I…" was all he could press out his lips before his voice was lost. She turned around once more and pressed a kiss on his lips. "I love you, too."

\- End

 **Okay guys, I know it took me forever to finish this fanfic and I am soooo sorry. I had some problems to continue when I saw the rest of the third season and after I found out that Tom isn't in the fourth season. But here it is. Maybe it is rushed a bit but that is just what came into my mind. Tell me if it's a worthy ending or what you would have wished for an ending.**

 **Still hope you enjoyed this fic and I hope I could do something good with it, at least. Because I know it was a really long time. Forgive me T_T**


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